Remain in me

I was painting our new toilets at church the other day and happily listening to a Francis Chan podcast (one of my favourite preachers). He was talking about the importance of living out the greatest two commandments on a daily basis - Love the Lord your God and Love your neighbour as yourself. There were many threads to his message but what struck home for me was that we have all we need in the Word. Everything else is noise and we can so easily overcomplicate our lives.

After hanging up my paintbrush, I was walking home when a friend called me. She needed an ear to talk about a family problem in which she was feeling judged for standing up for the truth. I reminded her gently of Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.’ So there it was, plain as can be, she needed to ask God if she were doing the right thing in her family and not worry about what the others thought. All that matters is that she seek first His kingdom, be right with God. All the rest, however painful, is only noise.

We chatted further about how easily family can become an idol in subtle ways. I know how quickly I can place my husband and children on such a high pedestal that they begin to crowd out Jesus in my life. I can spend hours worrying about the future, relationships, ADHD, food issues, intimacy, behaviour, all the endless concerns of family life. And yet Scripture speaks so simply in Matthew 6:31–33: “Do not worry…” Seek first His kingdom.

The answer is not that my family matters less, but that God needs to remain first. Only then can I love them fully instead of anxiously.

Seek first his kingdom. I had said it moments ago to my friend, seek first for the answer in His word, He will give you the guidance you need. And then the realisation hit hard about how often I tried to solve my own problems in my own human way. Not seeking God’s counsel or grounding myself in His word, but looking for earthly counsel, counsel that was subject to approval ratings and the latest fad. And whilst doing that, I had become like a willow in the wind, going from pillar to post with different advice when really, all I needed was to focus on what God’s word said. The same Yaweh yesterday, today, and tomorrow. All my earthly concerns are not new to him. He knew fully well that we would struggle with iPhones, social media, ADHD, relationships, none of it shakes nor surprises him.

So, for today, I have decided to trust Him and to stop worrying. To start leaning into what promises He has declared over my family. His plans are good, even when I cannot yet understand them. And I wonder, if my eyes are focused on Him and loving my neighbour as myself, will I still be so critical of my husband and my kids? Or will I be filled with the joy of knowing that I am His beloved, and that the irritations will pale in significance? I think so. I have felt that lightness before, lightness and pure joy that can only come from knowing who I am in God’s family. And this knowledge comes from soaking up His word, allowing His wisdom to seep into my bones, each day a little more. I’m going to try it. At age 54, it's never too late to change.

With love, Meg